My 20Somethings…

My birthday was Saturday and I turned 20! Which means I am finally an adult. I should be happy, I mean I’ve only dreamt about being in my 20’s living on my own since I was 8 years old. I always imagined I would be living on my own in a cute apartment in the city, with a perfect boyfriend and I would be a CEO of some fashion business. So, you can probably guess, life is not how I imagined it would be when I turned 20. 

I’m still in college, although I’ll be graduating in just over a year and then I have to really figure life out. I have a wonderful boyfriend, though I would not describe our relationship as “perfect”, but it is pretty close.  I do not live in an apartment, but I live on campus with one of my best friends in a “suite” which is basically a small apartment without a kitchen. 

I would say the past two decades have blessed me tremendously. I was born into a wonderful, loving family and have been blessed with the ability to get a great education backed by so many amazing people supporting me. I have so many friends who shower me with love everyday and I have been able to get through all of my rough patches in life with their help.

I can only imagine what the next two decades will have to offer me, although I’m not sure if it will be as easy as the last two. Graduating college seems very scary to me; having to get a job and support myself is a scary thing. The pressure of society pushing people my age to marry and have children is a constant weight on my shoulders. I want to be successful and make my family proud and I want to break through the glass ceiling.  None of this will be easy.

So, let’s start with graduating and making a career for myself. I am not sure what I want to do with my degree exactly, but I have narrowed it down. Right now, I am working as the Social Media Director for a non-profit here in Cincinnati. I enjoy working with social media, planning calendars, and measuring strategies, but it is not as challenging as I had hoped it would be. I would love to work in PR or be a writer of some sort in the future. I have been applying for internships and jobs in these fields to figure out if that will be the challenge I am looking for. I plan on doing a few more co-ops, then figuring out which path I truly want to take. 

I am not someone who likes to stay in one place for a long period of time, so finding a career that I want to stay in for years might be impossible for me. I think being a freelance writer would be a fun career and I would be able to work on my own terms and change up what I want to write about. I am a better writer than I am speaker, and I just feel like writing is my passion, If I could do it in a way that I do not get burned out, that would be a dream.

Finding a career that I love and being successful at it is the most important thing to me. However, there is this stigma in our society that in our 20’s we have to get married and begin having a family. I hate that. So many people from my high school are married and having kids and when my mom was my age she was already married and had me. It’s almost like society doesn’t want us to focus on ourselves and become the best we can be. I want to have a successful career and be able to support myself before I even begin to think about marriage, let alone having children. 

Like many other women today, I do not feel the need to get married or have children at all. I want to prove that being a wife or mother does not define who a woman is. Our careers and life choices should define who we are as people, not societal gender roles. I don’t want to turn this into a feminist rant, but, I am not about to put my career on hold to follow the stigma of getting married young.

I think my 20’s will be the most life changing years of my life. I hope they are challenging, fun, and promising. I want to be able to make the most out of the next decade, break barriers, and succeed in life. I have worked so hard already and I will continue to do so until I have met all of my life goals, no matter how much time and effort it takes. I hope I can continue to share this journey with you all.

Sydney

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My name is Sydney & God Calls Me Beautiful.

Surrounded by people in the library, I cried. I broke down and wept as the grace of God poured over me. I was reading a post from Bloc Ministries, a nonprofit I work for. The post was about a bible study that they had one Thursday. They were speaking truth to the girls and asked that they go around the circle and proclaim that God calls them beautiful.  “My name is ____ and God calls me beautiful”. One girl could not say it. She’d say her name and then giggle or move the attention toward her friends, almost like she did not believe the words she heard everyone else proclaim. One of the leaders realized this and looked into her eyes, “Your name is Serenity and God calls you beautiful.” The ladies said that you could see her body language change and she smiled, now “standing in the comfort of being assured she was made beautifully by the creator”.

Imagine, being in elementary school and thinking that you were not beautiful, that you were not worth something to anyone. When I was growing up, I was surrounded by love. My parents and grandparents would tell me I was beautiful, would tell me they were proud of me, and would love and support me constantly. I was lucky. Not everyone grows up this way; I’m sure that some of you reading this can attest to that. These girls and boys in lower Price Hill grew up completely different from me and they may not receive that love at home, if they even have a home. That’s why they go to after school programs like @iliffafterschool , to receive it. Teaching these girls that they are made beautifully by their creator is one of the most important things we can do; to let them know that they are loved and that they are so worth it.

Even as adults, sometimes we need to hear this. I have so much on plate right now between two jobs, volunteering, writing for the school paper, doing two podcasts, and taking six classes. Sometimes it is more than I can handle, I get hard on myself, I don’t eat, I don’t treat my body right and then I feel like I am worthless, ugly, and that my life is meaningless. Reading the post, I understood how the little girl felt and I remembered that even I need to stop and proclaim that God calls me beautiful and I need to remember that my creator loves me, blesses me with life, and takes away my worries. My name is Sydney and God calls me beautiful.

 

Confidence Is Actually Key: How I Gained the Confidence to Enjoy Life Again

Hey guys, so I haven’t posted in a week or so, but I just wanted to share some things that have been going on in my life the past three months. I consider myself to be a very blessed, happy, and healthy person and I try to project that out in public and on social media, however the past few months, I really haven’t felt that way. I have used social media as a wall and only use it so show a fake front of happiness, but to tear that wall down, it would be really messy.

I’ve been very unhappy with myself and my lifestyle. Basically everything in my life I was just viewing as negative and I was putting in no effort to fix those negative things and therefore I became very depressed, especially when I was alone. I’ve gained about 15 or so pounds since last year and I didn’t fit into any of my clothes and so I felt fat and insecure. I would look at social media and immediately doubt my beauty and feel so horrible about myself. There would be times where my boyfriend was going to take me out and I would dress cute, but feel very fat and insecure, so I would change into an over sized t -shirt and shorts, or just cry and decide not to go out at all. Over sized shirts actually became my go-to for awhile.

I hated so much about myself and there was no reason to. My body had actually filled out and I have a nice figure, but I was wearing clothes that didn’t fit and it just showed off the wrong parts of my body. I understand what you are probably thinking, why didn’t you change your diet, or workout. I tried, but it is actually hard. I love food and it is just so hard to change your diet, especially when you have zero motivation because you’ve let yourself slip into a depression. I even bought a gym membership and I have yet to use it. It is really hard to get to the gym when you feel down on yourself and would rather stay in bed and you don’t really have someone there to motivate you.

Not only did I feel fat, I had become so messy. It showed in my room, on myself and in my work. I become lazy at my job, my room was a disaster, and I was not taking care of myself. When I went on vacation about a month ago, I was surprised at how easy it was for me to wake up at 8 am and go to the beach, or pool, or just go out. I started taking care of myself those few days, and a bit of happiness crept through. However, when I got back, it became very difficult to wake up early, meaning I didn’t have time to take care of myself let alone fix dinner or clean after work. I knew I needed to change, but I just could not motivate myself to do so in order to get out of my slump and find happiness again.

When you’re feeling this way, it can be really hard to feel confident and go out and have fun with friends, family, or even meet new people. Life can seem really intimidating when you don’t have the confidence you need. Finally, I found my confidence.

I started watching Queer Eye on Netflix, and watching the Fab Five transform people’s confidence, allowed me to transform mine. I know that sounds crazy, that a Netflix series could change your life, but it’s true. I decided to take the advice, the guys were giving to others and apply it to myself. So I went to TJ Maxx and H&M and bought myself clothes that fit and made me feel good about myself. I had not gone shopping in forever, just because I hated going out anymore and I was trying to not to spend as much money, since I have to pay bills, groceries, etc. Honestly, after allowing myself to try on a size 10 and see how comfortable and great my jeans felt, I didn’t care what size I was wearing because I felt so good. Just because you aren’t a size 2 anymore, doesn’t mean you aren’t sexy.

Then, I came back to my dorm and cleaned up, did all of my laundry, and rearranged my room. I bought a new bed comforter to brighten up my room and hung my tapestry. I also put out other decorations and made the space mine again. I hadn’t put up any decorations this summer, because I knew I would be moving out in the fall to another room, but I think that fact that the room was drab and not really showing off my style had an effect on my mood. The mess also contributed to how I felt.

Having a “new” space and new clothes allowed me to boost my confidence and gain a sense of happiness. I had an interview today and usually when I go in for an interview, I am extremely nervous. I have never been good at interviews. However, today, I told myself to be confident. The woman who interviewed me actually complimented me on how I looked like an organized and confident person, who cares about appearance. I felt confident throughout the interview, I felt like it went well and I got the job before I even left the place. I feel so good and confident about myself and to be complimented on it feels even better! I don’t think I would be where I am right now, if I hadn’t watched a show that I related to so much in certain areas. I thank the Fab Five so much even if I haven’t actually met them, they honestly gave me my confidence back and I hope that this blog gives you the confidence to begin your journey to happiness.

HOW TO TAKE THAT PERFECT SUMMER SELFIE

It’s summer!!! This year the trend on Instagram, twitter and VSCO is to be chilling by the pool or on a float…a giant float. If you’re trying to get in on the summer selfie fun, here are some expert tips, so you can slay this summer, too!

POOL FLOATS

The trend for this summer is taking pics on your giant pool float. If you don’t have a pool, you should definitely take advantage of a having a friend with a pool and hang out with them!! You can get these pool floats basically anywhere and they are good for floating around on, not just taking selfies, so definitely not a waste of money. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, just scroll through your Instagram and I am sure you can find someone sitting on a giant flamingo or laying on a slice of pizza.

Obviously, you’ll want to put your own spin on your picture, but it doesn’t hurt to look on pinterest or instagram for ideas. Find a unique pool float and choose a pose that is comfortable and feels like you. If you try to copy a pose from someone else you won’t be happy. We all were not created the same, so find an angle and pose, that feels the most YOU!

To get the best picture, you want it to be sunny, but make sure the sun isn’t in your eyes, or you will look squinty and your face will be wrinkled, if it isn’t sunny out when you take your pictures, you can edit your picture on VSCO to make it look like it is golden hour. If you can, use an actual camera. I use a canon for all of my pictures and edit them on VSCO but, if you don’t have a camera, that’s okay too.

If you’re the photographer, don’t be afraid to get in the water, get low, or get up high. It is all about angles!! Don’t just take a few pictures of your friends either, take as many as you can so they have plenty to choose from!

PHOTO SESSION

Whether you’re on vacation, downtown, or at home, it is always a good time for a photo session. My friends and I actually do a lot of these, whether its planned, or we just find a cool spot while we’re hanging out and have a small photo session. When trying to find a cool spot for an Instagram post, get creative! People do not want to see the same picture of you as they saw of someone else 5 minutes ago! But as long as you take your picture from a good angle, and pose in front of something you like, you can take an awesome picture.

I really want to stress that editing can be your best friend. If you don’t like a picture, edit it! EVERYONE DOES. We always tend to compare ourselves to other girls on instagram, but DON’T. Be yourself; take pictures where you feel confident and comfortable. It can take a few tries before you get the right pose and editing can even enhance the photo, so don’t feel like a picture isn’t perfect, because no one takes a good picture on the first try.

SELFIE

Again, it is all about angles. If you’re trying to take the perfect selfie, it is not going to happen. Just play around, try to find an angle you like best and stick with it. You definitely won’t get it on the first try so you’re going to have to take 100 pictures and search through them. It is definitely a process at times. It is always a good idea to get ideas from others, but do not compare yourself to them. Everyone is different and it might take a few tries before you find your selfie groove. As long as you dig yourself and radiate that confidence, your selfie will do the same.

Seriously, no one’s selfie game is perfect. Even instagram models and celebs put a lot of time into editing their photos. For the best editing, use VSCO. They have presets set up already, but don’t just stick to those. Play around with all the tools and use them to your advantage. Right now, I am obsessed with making my pictures look like I took them during golden hour. All you do is go to white balance and change the temperature to +4.0 and then turn the exposure to -4.0. Obviously, you can adjust those a little bit, but it will look like you to the picture at peak sun. It also helps to take the pic in front of a window or in the car!

My best advice is to find an editing app you like and play around with it until you find something you like. Take as many pictures as you can and choose your favorites. Do not compare your self or your pictures to others because everyone is different, everyone has different taste when it comes to selfies, or the way they edit, so be yourself and create your own masterpiece!

Spring Break Forever Bitches!

Happy Spring everyone! If you’re in or around the Tri-State today, your first day of spring looked like mine…snowy. I am so ready to leave winter behind and break out the flip flops! Everyone is getting ready for or just got back from Spring break across the nation and unlike my title and quote from the movie Spring Breakers may suggest, my break was incredibly boring.

Last Week here at MSJ, it was Spring Break and basically all I did was work, plus I was getting over some type of Bronchitis. I ended up listening to several podcasts on my drives to work and trying to catch up on movies that I had yet to see. It brought out my love for true crime shows/movies/books. I began my week by watching Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri. Which was an Oscar nominated movie, starring Frances McDormand and Woody Harrelson. The movie is about a mother who lost her daughter over a year ago, after she was raped and killed. The mother, played by Frances McDormand buys three billboards outside of town hoping to get the attention of the cops of the town, who she believes are not doing enough to find her daughter’s killer.

Without giving away anything, I thought the movie was very well done. While it was longer, I really enjoyed the movie. There were a few twists that I did not see coming and that were well written. However, I am among the majority and agree that it did not deserve Best Picture (which it did not get). There were some plotlines that were not made clear or had loose ends as well as the redemption of the racist cop at the end, being unnecessary. To an extent however, he got what he deserved and had an eye-opening experience, but did not deserve the grace he received from the main character.

After watching this movie, I decided to look into a new podcast, that one of my professors had recommended, My Favorite Murder. While listening to the podcast about the Golden State Killer, the hosts of the podcast, Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark, mentioned a book entitled I’ll Be Gone in the Dark. The book is written by a woman on her journey to find out who the Golden State Killer is. I’ve begun reading it and I can not wait to finish it, so far it is so good. I do not want to spoil it for anyone, but one of my favorite quotes so far in the book is “The case dragged me under quickly. Curiosity turned to clawing hunger. I was on the hunt, absorbed by a click-fever that connected my propulsive tapping with a dopamine rush.” (From: I’ll Be Gone in the Dark written by Michelle McNamara). It is actually a true story about her journey.

Another podcast I decided to listen to this past week was Call Your Girlfriend. This show is hosted by Anne Friedman and Aminatou Sow. I listened to their podcast entitled “Millennial Pinkwashing” and learned about a thesis Anne had written about Shine Theory. I’ve attached the link below this paragraph and it is worth the read. It’s my new philosophy on life!

http://shine-theory.tumblr.com/thesis

I am going to try to discuss it on MountCast this week, so definitely check out the podcast tomorrow evening!

So, while I have been drowning in podcasts and movies this week, there have been some exciting things going on in the pop culture world. Apparently Cardi B is pregnant, according to TMZ. While neither her or Offset have confirmed these rumors, everyone truly believes them. I mean could you blame us after Kiley Jenner? Anyway, this would be Offset’s fourth child and if the rumors are true, I could not be happier for them!

Speaking of Offset, Migos new music video for Walk It Talk It was released this week and it’s confusing. In a 70’s themed video paying tribute to Soul Train, the group and Drake are over-the-top dressed for disco with their platform shoes and afro wigs, the dancing and rap song just do not mesh. However, you get sucked in from the time the “game show” called “Culture Ride” begins with Jamie Foxx as the host, to a dance off, and by the end you feel like maybe this somehow did work?

 

Twitter @MSJUPodcast